The end of anything can be painful.
We are uncomfortable with the unfamiliar. And especially when we haven’t healed past wounds. But everything ends. The fact that one of us will stand by the other’s grave is evidence of that. It’s only a matter of when and how.
How we end something will determine our next beginning. It requires maturity and emotional intelligence to end situations/relationships well. In the manner WE deserve – never mind anyone else. There had to be good times in there too, there had to be learning and growth, and if we focus on what didn’t please us that brought around the ending, then we don’t get to live the growth we developed either. We’re back to square one. And we can’t remember the joy and the beauty that we shared.
If things didn’t please us, sure isn’t that why it ended? We can’t hold onto everything we had forever. Life has to change, we have to grow, we have to move on to other things. How else would we ever experience what we need to experience to develop our own actualising tendency? We can’t keep everything we had, we don’t own anyone or anything, except our state of mind in every given circumstance.
We meet people or enter into new situations for a reason, a season, or for life. Life itself will determine which one. There’s no point in getting frustrated or blaming someone else because our connection wasn’t a life long connection. It may have simply been for a season, or for a reason – to develop a part of ourselves that needed our investigation. Not every person or situation can last a lifetime. But each connection is as important as the other and deserves to be honored deeply.
It’s all a matter of honor, and if we don’t have it for ourselves, it’s not possible to have it for others. Have a look at your life? Do u have good taste? If you cannot honor the good of what you received in every situation you shared in this world, then what are you saying about yourself?
Ending situations well requires us to heal every bad ending we ever had. Sometimes these bad endings are carved onto our soul and we almost expect the ending to be painful to justify our past hurts. We may even create bad endings so as to convince ourselves of our own moral superiority. It excuses us from taking personal responsibility for our lives.
As much love and thoughtfulness are required to be put into the ending as we put into the beginnings and the middles. Otherwise, all is lost for us. But the beauty of this is that we don’t require the other to end well for us to end well. How we conduct ourselves is our responsibility and not based on the others handling of an ending.
We may not be able to physically heal our past situations that ended badly, but overcoming our loss, our disappointment, our need to be right, our need to be superior to another or a situation, will allow us to learn a lot about how we honor others in this world. For ultimately, we are showing the world what we give to ourselves. And that is all we have to give. We treat others with the level of dignity and respect we give to self. We are learning to form good boundaries for ourselves.
It’s a journey, and it will be a very painful one until we develop humility. That’s the journey in itself. The universe is our only teacher. Nature will restore balance. It’s a consciousness, it doesn’t have a conscience, it will just do what it’s supposed to do to bring balance into your life. It’s not concerned if you are an unwilling student, it will do its job, with or without your consent. And if it keeps sending you up similar situations to heal, then that’s worth your investigation.
A good place to start is on your mindset in every situation. We simply gain nothing from judgment but avoidance of what we need to heal in our own lives. There is no right or wrong, life is what it is. It’s all a matter of perception. If we cannot accept endings with humility, grace, and honor, that’s exactly what the universe will continue to teach us. How we cannot control. How we cannot force others to do or think as we do.
Endings are a part of life. They pave the way for new beginnings. If we don’t do it well and with gratitude, then that’s exactly what we’ll bring into our next situation. We’ve just set it up to learn the lesson all over again, and we’ll call it bad luck?
See this little humble dandelion? Do u know it didn’t even credit a name in the Victorian language of flowers? Yet have u ever seen a garden of dandelions? It’s like a garden of sunshine. We may pull them up, even use weed killer, but they’ll get up through every crack in that pavement and shine again. They scream at us, I’m back!
We blow out the little puffball of seeds to grant us a wish? What we wish for another will be granted, but what most don’t stop to consider is that our wish will be returned to sender. That’s not mystical, not insight, not magic, just pure nature. Science. Quantum physics at its best. Let’s hope it’s a good wish.
Let’s hope we find the grace to soften our hardness and return to our inner flow. Gentleness, kindness, honor, and grace. If we don’t, we haven’t healed the crack. We haven’t enquired inwards, and we’re unknowingly repeating the pattern all over again. Those dandelions just keep pushing through. It’s nature, they were given to the universe for healing.
Our future isn’t seen in our beginnings, it’s seen in our endings. Ask someone how their last relationship or situation that they moved on from ending? If it was difficult and they still hold resentment or a desire to damage the other, then that energy within them will start their next beginning.
The end of a negative mindset is in your next beginning. Make sure you do the internal work required to give yourself the love and healing of creating great endings. Because YOU deserve a fantastic new beginning!
Norah Finn – Alethea.