Standing as an individual is not easy!
Standing as an individual in this world is probably the hardest thing we’ll ever do.
If life is constantly hard work, then it’s not working. No matter what circumstance life throws at you, the support of loving people around you makes most suffering lighter. Most pain we experience comes from the same source. Relationships. Whether with our significant others, family, children, friends, work relationships, etc, pain is almost always connected to difficulties in a relationship. Or the lack of satisfying relationships in our life.
I’m sure we can all remember the feeling of early love. We could take on the world. No matter what happened in our lives, we got through it with a smile. Been valued, loved, supported and appreciated in our lives is what we need to bring out the best in us. It is deeply painful when life goes wrong, and not only because of the events, but mostly because we become acutely aware at those times who we have or don’t have in our lives.
Suffering highlights our relationships. Learning comes in difficult periods in our lives. I don’t know anyone who learns through happiness. In those times we’re enjoying the good times. That’s why they’re called the good times. We’re living at the moment. And rightly so. It’s generally when our back is against the wall that we have our deepest learning.
We’re forced into one of two positions. Depress or aggress. Whichever one, it’s taking us on a journey that we wouldn’t have signed up for voluntarily. We knew we needed to make changes and were afraid to do it. Afraid that we’d rock the boat, afraid of more loss, afraid of been judged. Afraid of being alone. And then when we’ve lost everything, we’re not afraid anymore.
The very things we so didn’t want to happen have just happened, and we realize we can breathe again. We don’t have to hold our breath trying not to do or say the wrong thing anymore.
We give up hope that things could have been different. We give up giving up on ourselves and losing our own self-worth in an attempt to change how another sees a situation. It doesn’t mean you’re right and they’re wrong, people can do whatever they choose with their lives. But we do have a responsibility to ourselves to choose the right situations and values for us.
People can do what they want, but if it doesn’t match what you want, then it’s your responsibility to stop trying to change others. We don’t have a right to make someone become the person we want them to be.
We have a responsibility to become who we want to be. Everyone is doing the best they can with what they have. It’s your job to do the best you can with who you are. And sometimes, it’s necessary to do that walk. It may be lonely, fearful, frightening, to walk alone, but isn’t that fear what got you in the situation you’re in in the first place?
It’s better to walk it alone than staying in a situation that is self-destructive. No one did this to you but you. Self-Love is being fearless in the face of fear. It takes real courage to stand as an individual. Fix your hair, put your best outfit on, chin up, and keep walking in the direction that takes you far away from situations where you allowed yourself to self-destruct.
You’re walking towards self-love now. Don’t look back. You’re destination awaits. There’s people who walked this road too at the end of this road. They have the kettle on for you. The end may not be in sight yet, but you’re heading in the right direction. Enjoy the view. And breath in the fresh air. Wishing you all self-love today.
Love. Norah Finn ❤️